I went out of town Monday afternoon and did not return until last night late. I am tired, sick (still), busy, weak, looking for a job, waiting to hear back from people, tired of dealing with other people, and all I want to do is first go to a real doctor to figure out what's wrong with me and second go home and curl up in my bed and fall asleep. I completely bombed my computers test today. It's like no matter how hard I try to do good in that class, I just don't. I don't get it. It doesn't click. AHHHHHHH. My stomach hurts soo bad right now. I am glad that we don't have choir this week! I need a break, and I need to focus on my juries songs. I am waiting right now to meet with my advisor about next semester so I can start registering for classes. I'm gonna work it all out so I can do everything a little smoother and quicker and easier. I miss my mom. Me and the new neighbors just about had it out this morning. They were yelling "f" words at each other and stomping around and so I went up to their door and knocked and they never answered. Then I went back downstairs and tried to get ready then they started again and were right above me and I had had it so at the top of my lungs I yelled "Stop yelling at each other my gosh!" and it got quiet and then he yelled back "We're just teasing". See I have this problem with violence or yelling because of the way my childhood was and it bothers me and I start shaking and my nerves get all jumpy, so I just couldn't take it. I left. They'll probably say something to me later. UGH

I'm soo excited today!! My friend Julie is in labor and she's having her first baby and I can't wait to meet little Leland!!! It's been raining all day, but it hasn't been a bad day. I am gonna be able to get new glasses which excites me to no end, and hopefully I am getting things worked out today to be able to straighten out my finances. I'm crossing my fingers and praying to God that it all goes well. He will always take care of me and give me exactly what I need and never more than I can handle, so I'm not worried about it. My friends say they wish they would learn to trust God like me. I don't tell anyone that because I don't want credit for it. I just know that God loves me and will do everything to show me. I need a roommate really bad..I also need to find a way to either get rid of my new neighbors or tell them or my landlord about the noise disturbance. It would be funny and really bad if I called the police for noise disturbance..haha..anyways..I gotta cut this short I have things to do. Adios!

Umm..ok..so like...yeah...like..so...umm..I'm in a better mood today BUT I woke up sick again..I prayed about some stuff and I think I'm coming up with some solutions after a talk with a friend. Also, I've realized..I need new friends. OH! I think I completely aced my test this morning in civ class! That excites me because I am making a B in that class and I would much rather have an A so I'm making extra efforts in all of my classes to kick it up a notch. So, my new neighbors are driving me insane..they make all the noise in the world and it sounds like the ceiling is about to fall in on me, and you don't even wanna know what I heard them doing last night while I was trying to study...UGH!..so disturbing. I was soo angry. I want to say something to my landlord but I'm not the kind of person to disturb the peace, but the other night the guy came down drunk..which was weird. HELP!!!

I'm so tired of being sick. It's like everytime I start to get over something, something new comes along. It's ridiculous. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm beginning to think I have some kind of disease or something. For real. Besides that, I got a pretty good grade on my computer assignment so I'm happy about that. Someone asked me how my weekend was and my response was, I don't remember. I mean, I was so busy all weekend I don't remember how my weekend actually was. That's weird, but at least I was productive! I got my new neighbors upstairs. I told them that I could hear everything and I really think they took me lightly. I can hear them walk, talk, turn something on, I can hear their phone ring I can hear when they drop something, I can even hear their dog walk across the floor. I really meant everything and I don't think they got it. They don't seem very social, which sucks for me cause I am very social. I was up late all weekend looking up verses for my drama team. We just came up with a new name, Souled Out, with the phrase, Are you souled out for God?, and now I just have to find a verse. I really like Psalm 62:5, I think it's my favorite. Well class is about to start so I guess I'll go. Mr. Fox, if you actually read these you have to give me a sign of proof. Say bologna in the next class and I'll die laughing and noone will know except me..hahahaha. Later

Know that feeling when you're starving? GREAT! I am. I met a couple of new people today..we're gonna be good friends!!! I have had THE most amazing day ever! I layed out in the grass on a blanket with my best friend for a few minutes before class because the day is beautiful! Although I still can't sing (banned by my voice coach, choir teacher, and juries coach) *sigh*..but I can't sing right now anyways..my voice is SHOT! Piano kicked my butt today..like I almost started crying in class cause I like couldn't get what I had been working on soo hard..I worked on it for a long time and then went to class and she tried to help me but it only seemed to get worse..AHHHH..anyways. I think I am finally gonna get to work out tonight which is awesome!..usually people just tell me that they will work out with me and then bail..lol..I realized today that if things don't work out the way you think they have to or the way that you planned that it's gonna be ok and I can cross that bidge when I get to it...in other words..Savannah applied to Gainsville today :'(..which means she prolly won't be coming back here next year. *sigh*..It will work out..Ciao

We had another calf today. It almost didn't make it. We had to bottle feed it and it can barely stand up. Things don't look good for the little fella. I had other plans today but sometimes life takes its course and there's nothing you can do about it. It's funny how that happens. I have to drive back home today, Hiawassee home anyways. It'll be good to get back but I miss being home like this a lot. It's soo much fun. I love grilled cheese sandwiches!! Chicken is my favorite food though. I could eat chicken everyday for every meal! Growing up my dad always said that I was gonna turn into a chicken from eating so much of it. lol. That always made me laugh. It's funny how you don't seem to realize as much the miracles that life on a farm can hold until you're no longer there everyday. I love it. I'll always be a country girl. Born and raised and that's how I'll stay! I gotta go feed a baby calf. Toodles

I have been sooo tired all day! I had to run all over town today. By the way, I absolutely HATE it when the weather does this back and forth thing. Cold, hot, cold, hot. UGH! Make up your mind mother nature! So Friday we're leaving for Gatlinburg, Go Winterfest! I have two chihuahua's, and despite people's opinions of this breed of dog, mine are nothing like regular ones. I'm really good at training dogs so from the time I got them I started training and they are the best well mannered chihuahua's in the world. Even Savannah (who doesn't like ANY chihuahua's loves them) So, my point. I was watching them play earlier today and they make me laugh soo hard! I have a boy named Bobo that's almost 3 yrs old and a girl name Khloe that's about 1 and 1/2. Bobo could be an agility course dog, but with school I don't have time to do it with him. I love them. And that's that.

My spring break has gotten better. I feel a lot better. I got my hair done..it didn;t turn out how it was supposed to BUT..I still like it. I mean I kind of am the guinea pig for my family. I have 2 hair stylists in my family and they just experiment on me. So it doesn't bother me to have my hair messed around with. We had a new baby calf today, and one a couple of days ago too. I am kind of enjoying time away from school and home but I'll be ready to get back and get in the swing of things. I like normal routine but I'm also very spontanious. I hardly ever plan anything way in advance. So..I am determined to do 100% better in my classes this half of the semester than in my first half. Part of the reason I've been struggling is because it is my very first semester in college and I'm having to support myself and pay for my apartment and bills and then there's church, I'm the Youth Drama Director there and a youth leader and a choir member so..I stay pretty busy. I may have already mentioned that before..I don't remember..anyways. I guess that's it for today. Peace out!

I've had a very eventful time since my Friday bout mid-day. I started feeling funny and went to the nurse's station but they were closed and so then I went home and called the doctor back and told him what I was feeling and he told me to come back in so I did. Then they ran a bunch of tests on me and couldn't figure out what was wrong so they sent me to the ER to have more tests done. Meanwhile, I'm in horrible pain and feel like I could pass out, my throat's swollen to no end and I'm running a fever and aching all over. Mono and strep came back negative and I'm still waiting on the flu test and the bad thing is, this happened to me less than a year ago, same symptoms and everything. I ended up in the hospital then and I ended up in the hospital this time. Tests were run both times and both times they can come to no conclusion of what's going on in my body. Don't mind if I say that that's a little weird to me. Kind of worries me a bit. Nothing I can do about it in the meantime. I am home for spring break unless the hospital calls me and tells me I have to come back or something. I'm out my throats starting to hurt again...more pain meds!!!!..YAY!

I am SOOO sick!! I went to the doctor yesterday and he told me that I had a tube messed up and it's all swollen and blocked and it hurts an incredible amount of pain!! I have meds for it..but they knock me out and I don't wanna be sleepy in class. I am debating on what to do for spring break because I want to go home but if I leave tonight then I'll have to come back saturday night then leave again monday morning and then come back again wednesday night to get ready to leave for winterfest thursday morning! OH! I got my poem collage thing back from Mrs. Looper and I love it! I love writing poetry and I especially like that one. It's different. I don't have her class today which is good..so I can take my meds and go pass out somewhere. I am sad because all of my friends left today to go off for spring break and I am left here all alone. I hate being alone!..sometimes..not all the time though..but this time I do! Anyways..Until next time..Arrivederci!

It really seems like my life is falling apart right now. Everything you can think has gone wrong. I've been holding back tears for 2 days now. And somehow, through the grace of God I;ve managed to hold myself together and even more than that, be in a great mood and have a great day. I know that God will always provide for me better than the the birds that he provided for and I know his plan and timing is perfect. So I'm not gonna tear myself up over something I can't fix. I don't know how I'm gonna find a new job or what's gonna happen with Savannah, but he'll find something perfect for me. I am anxious to know how I did on that computer test, and to get started on the first part. I think I'll do really good. I know I bombed the back part of the second test but I tried my hardest to make it work! I'm apparently just not as good as I thought I'd be at computers. I can feel and hear my voice getting stronger, which is awesome I mean, it is my major. Ok I'm out.

Okie Dokie artichokee. My weekend was completely nuts. I had to write my three essays for Looper and study for my test for computers and my one on Wednesday for Civ, along with working and church and drama practice and shooping for household supplies. UGH! I didn't sleep at all saturday night, was at the school all night and left that morning to go get ready for church, then finally got to bed last night at I think 5? I am tired, but rest will come in due time I suupose. I have a test today and I'm soo excited cause I studied so hard and I really think I'm gonna do really good!..But the test is about to start so I gotta go!..Later!!

It's been pretty good for the past couple of days. I'm still sick, and mid-terms are here. I have been trying to get caught up on all my work. This weekend is so busy for me :'( . I have to work and to go to church and to study for mid-terms and to clean my house and to call the Humane Society and..ugh! I will be glad when spring break gets here. I need a break. Rain, rain, rain. When it's raining we want sun, when it's hot we want cold, when it's cold we want hot, when we get what we wanted we realize we want something else more. People are soo complicated! Life is too short. Be happy with what ya got and thank God for giving you what he wants you to have. Don't get mad over stupid little things. People get so defensive of their opinions or ideas. Diversity is apart of life. Deal with it. I love diversity. It makes life interesting. I am determined to try my hardest and to the best of my ability to do as good as I can in all of my classes. I am a hard worker, and I am still getting used to having to balance everything. I may be struggling a little bit, but I'm learning. I wrote an awesome poem the other day. I love poetry. I started writing it when I was nine. I've always been involved in the arts. I am a free spirit. My mom always says that I have the spirit of a wild horse (in a good way). I roam free, not much bothers me. I love life. try to tell me I can't and I'll buck harder than anything to prove you wrong. ANYWAYS! I guess that's enough for today. Au revoir!

It's been an absolutely crazy weekend. Not one I expected. I had planned on going home this past weekend to spend some time with my family, but then I got a phone call after my last class on Friday. My mom informed me that papaw had been in a head on collision and was being air lifted to Erlanger. I quickly packed my things and rushed home but before I could make it to the hospital he died. So this weekend was a weekend spent with family, at an unexpected and heartbreaking event. Again, not what I expected. After the funeral monday I drove back home and got in at about 11:30 PM. I have been sick for the past 4 days, and I'm tired. I really hope my teachers will let me make-up my work that I missed. I am so afraid that I'll be behind now. I can't think of anything else to say. I would like to dedicate this blog to Papaw Williams. Goodbye.

Today, despite the rain, is a wonderful day. There's this guy that I've grown up with because our parents are friends, and we've been like brother and sister all of our lives, I love him soo much! Anyways, he called me this morning while I was getting ready for school. It really made my day! So when I go home this weekend I get to have lunch with him and his wife! I am soo excited about going home this weekend! I get to see my animals and family! School is interesting today. I have a crush on this guy (I know it sounds very highschool but I can't help it), I bumped into him today. He's soo cute!! Anyways, I gotta go. Later.

Ok so, today has been great so far. I had breakfast and it was good and class has been good all day too. It's a little bit chilly today. I'm soo tired of this crazy weather! It is insane! I have choir at 4 and then a tanning bed appt. at 5:15 and then maybe working out and homework then revival at 7. If you don't consider me a busy person, I'll laugh at you in your face!..hahaha..I am really bored and trying to waste time till my next class. I watched a movie with my best friend on Valentines day, "He's just not that into you.", it was soo good!..Genuinely funny. Valentines day made me a little sad though cause I was hanging out with her and her date...and me..alone. So, I wish I had a perspective other that shared my interests and actually liked me for me, but most guys today aren't into stuff like that. Oh well. What can you do. I am so excited that my fast is over and I can eat normally again!!..yay! Hopefully I won't gain any weight by cramming food in my mouth..HAHAHAHA..I gotta go..Later tater

Extra Credit

So in order to get extra credit for my computer class, I was told I had to start a blog and keep it for a month. So here goes. I have a quiz today in computers and I feel really good about it. I studied hard and it's usually hard for me to remember things but I still think I'll do good. I'm soo excited for 2 o'clock to come! I'm going home with my best friend Savannah to Rome and we are going to have the best time and the best valentines day EVER! Secretly I know my teacher Mr. Fox hates me (I'm only saying this cause he'll read it and I like to keep a good war of nagging going!..haha). I am so broke I can't even afford food!..ahh!..college!..Oh well..I'll look back on this all one day and laugh at how fun it was even though it's really hard to pay all my bills, pay rent, support myself completely and go to school working on the side..haha. Wow. Anyways, I've decided that it's going to be a good day. I realized a long time ago that you can decide what kind of day you have. I guess being older than most folks I go to school with makes me view things a little differently, but I like it for the most part. Unfortunately I have to be done with this cause my class is starting in 10 minutes! See you tomorrow!